I just left here at the end of the year, or the semester?
I really don't want to leave Servant's, but I don't know how much longer I can survive at Western without losing my sanity. The classes and professors are wonderful, but I don't have any real friends here, and I don't really foresee finding those in the near future. I can't function without some sort of social interaction beyond "so, have you done that theology paper yet?"
I'm highly considering getting a job somewhere, or transferring to the other school I was considering in Chicago. It's not an RCA seminary, which would mean coming here for a few classes anyway, but I could deal with that.
I'm not sure what to do with this overwhelming feeling that I don't belong here. There is not a single part of me that has peace about this. To be honest, the only thing keeping me here is Servant's Community Church. I love that place, and the people in it, more than anything else in Michigan right now.
But after I've told so many people that I love it here, how can I tell them that I might not be staying?
Look at it this way: if you aren't happy or don't feel 100% right where you are now, how can you know that you will feel right wherever it is you wind up after you have your degree? There is nothing wrong with changing your mind, altering your path slightly, or switching to a totally different one. You have to do what feels right for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as explaining it to other people, don't worry about that one bit. Those that care about you will understand. And those that don't understand, well, it's not that they don't care, but perhaps they just don't understand you entirely.
Also, if you ever want to talk, you know my number. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sara! These sentiments seem to change from day to day. There are mornings that I wake up ready to tackle the world, and mornings that I wake up saying to myself "what in the world have I gotten myself into?"
ReplyDeleteI'm still looking, and still searching, and still learning. I love ministry. I really do. But I think maybe I have a lot of growing to do first. I just don't know where else to go.
Do you have Skype? We should Skype, if you do, and if not then we should definitely have a phone date sometime in the near future!